the burning

I had a private channeling recently with a friend of mine who’s channeled for me a number of times in the past.  In the channeling I asked about the hives, what that’s all been about.  I asked about taking the medication (the L-Glutamine regimen) I’m taking, and will that fix it?

There was a past life where I spoke my truth, stood my ground, stood up for myself and brought something to the attention of the powers that be, at that time.  It must have been a big deal.  I was imprisoned in the early spring time (when I first started noticing these little itchy bumps), and sentenced to die, by burning, “to add insult to injury,” at Summer Solstice (when the hives REALLY kicked in and I was so ready to crawl out of my skin — and almost took myself to the emergency room).  The age I was then, and the age I am now, and the time of the year, and what’s going on in “my” “now” life, all lined up.

So, when this spring came and it looked like I was going public with some things in my work, there was a part of me inside that screamed, ‘NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!  DO NOT SPEAK UP.  THIS WILL GET YOU KILLED.”

The hives represented the burning:  the actual fire that I went through in that lifetime that killed me.

And there were other lifetimes that kind of “hopped on the bandwagon,” so to speak — lifetimes where I’d died of smallpox, for example.  I’ve spent many lifetimes as a Native American.  I actually wondered about this, whether I was reliving the potentially many deaths I’d died with smallpox.  Yes, they tagged along as they saw we were going into the “fire” right now.

My channeler friend said that the hives will resolve — and for the most part they have — and that next year, perhaps, when I look on the calendar and see it’s early spring, or it’s summer solstice, my body may go “eek!” and I’ll start scratching, if only just for a brief moment.  “Remember?!”

What I can continue to do:  love myself, comfort myself, knowing that this time it’s safe to speak up and say what I need to say, and say it boldly, for all the world to see and hear — knowing this time it’s okay.  It’s safe this time.  This time I can speak up and I won’t get dead.  This is what will truly heal my body and my life.

So actually, if the Name-Brand-Memory-Foam-Mattress deal had anything at all to do with the hives, and I still don’t know that there was any connection, but if it was connected, it was something I created for myself in order to come to peace, within, for myself, that now it’s safe for me to show up in this world and be fully, completely, Who I Am.  It’s safe for me to speak up to the whole world.  This time I will live, no matter what. 

This has all been my first choice.

What a beautiful gift I’ve given myself.


About Susan Bame

Writer, Mediator, Facilitator, Teacher, fascinated with indigenous forms of conflict resolution. I love watching people become empowered. I have a master's degree in conflict resolution and a personal interest in organic food, detoxing and healing the body, alternative holistic approaches to health, self-empowerment and win-win solutions through mediation, Structured Water™, and energetic healing. I lived on the Omaha Reservation in northeast Nebraska for ten years, worked with Native families in the area, and have a great interest in Native history, culture, practices, traditions, stories, and current affairs. View all posts by Susan Bame

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